She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
