Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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