Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
