we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
