so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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