I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
