I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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