The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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