u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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