Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
