I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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