I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
