We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
