Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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