it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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