my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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