I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
