I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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