She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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