I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
You are a genius and a whore.
Randomize