My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
