we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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