Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
