Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
