my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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