Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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