Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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