If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
