Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
