is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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