Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
