I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize