You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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