i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
