I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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