I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he shaved USA in his pubs
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
