Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
