I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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