I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
