Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
