Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
In other news, I just burned my penis
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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