Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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