the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
