She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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