um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
