Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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