Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
