I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
you traded sex for a burrito?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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