It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
