Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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