This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
