so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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