Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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