i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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