But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
