I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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