You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
