guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
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Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
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You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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