My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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