ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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