btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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